We now return to our regularly scheduled funny… 🙂

From Ben Hay’s Operating System FAQ:

How can I protect my Windows computer from Viruses, spyware, adware, malware?
Open the case. Remove the network card, floppy drive, modem, and cd/dvd drives. Fill all USB and Firewire ports with some kind of silicone based sealant.

My computer has an integrated network device and/or modem, which cannot be removed. What now?
Fill them with some kind of silicone based sealant.

How can I protect my Linux computer from Viruses, spyware, adware, malware?
I don’t understand the question.

Is Linux ready for the desktop?
Yes.

Is Windows ready for the desktop?
No.

Can Microsoft be trusted?
No.

What about Trusted Computing?
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

And from the ever-on-target FakeGayNews.com:

Faith-based Homeland Security Causes Further Delays at US Airports

[…]At Los Angeles International Airport, a group of women from Hamburg faired better when they were detained but released after several hours. After a lengthy interrogation, it was determined they were in fact, German tourists, and not lesbians.

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