Lady and the Tramp 2 may have hurt. The Lion King 1 1/2 was not only painful but logically and mathematically improbable. But these have nothing on the level of trauma about to be unleashed by the release of Disney’s Old Yeller Brand Dog Food. Via The BEAT:

“That’s a character that most people wouldn’t even remember,” Andy Mooney, head of Walt Disney Co.’s consumer products division, said during a discussion with a handful of journalists on Wednesday.

“Wouldn’t even remember.” Of course not. Have you ever heard of “repressed memories”, Mr Mooney? Old Yeller is indeed forgotten, because we have spent every waking moment trying to forget what happened to that loving, faithful pet, and the memory is only partially filed away with such other unbearable memories as Grandma Bertha’s gumdrop cookies, the time we found maggots in our Snickers bar, the presidency of George W. Bush, Chuck Austen’s run on the Avengers, the nasty matter in the woodshed and that thing Uncle Buster tried to show us once.

Life would be far more comforting if there were a few more April Fool’s Days spread across the calendar.

(One more article, because pain is cleansing: Black Stallion nervous as Disney enters dog food business [Defamer])